Thursday, February 20, 2014

"I Like Your Tummy, Libby!"

It's funny how your perspective changes when you see things through a child's eyes.

Occasionally, I get to watch this cute little girl...
Reece is a typical almost 3 year old girl. She's into everything princess, and frilly, "girly" things.
She has been so excited about the baby, she is much more into it than William is. From the beginning she's been so curious and excited about Tatum, and is fascinated how every time I see her, my tummy has grown a little. (or a lot...) She also like to tell me about the baby in HER tummy :)

We got to play with Reecie Roo this week, and of course, she asked questions, wanted to feel Tatum moving, and was so excited to see the bed we'd just set up for her.

As she was leaving, we were saying our goodbyes and she looks at me and says "I like your tummy, Libby"
I didn't quite know what to say, so I just laughed and said "I like your tummy too, Reecie Roo!" What I didn't realize is that I would be thinking about that little exchange for the next few days.

Before I got pregnant with William, I can't remember really having body image issues. In fact, I will admit, it was almost leaning in the opposite direction. I was lucky to have a pretty slender body, and perhaps had a bit of a false sense of security in it. Then I had a baby. Scratch that... then I had an over ten pound baby.

I understood WHY my middle was growing, but that didn't make it any easier to see the numbers on the scale going up every week. I got very self conscious, and felt very out of place in my own skin. This was not the body I was used to. I know it may seem a little self absorbed, I should be grateful that I'm able to make a baby, and believe me I was, it's just hard to fully appreciate the miracle of life, when you don't even feel like yourself.

Fast forward a little, the baby weight from Will came off pretty fast. Much faster than I anticipated, and I'm not going to lie, I was a little relieved. Recovery was pretty rough after having Will, and this helped me feel a little more like myself.

Then I got pregnant with Tatum.

I've found that I am one of those women, where you can't really tell that I'm pregnant until about 20 weeks... then I blow up! And now, here I am at 30 weeks, and I don't feel like I'm over-exaggerating when I say I'm pretty close to how big I was when William was born. Granted I don't weigh as much, but the belly is just as big. The last few weeks I have been having those same thoughts creeping in. Every time I pass a mirror I get a little disheartened. I already feel like this tummy is getting in the way, of holding Will, of me feeling like a human, it literally gets in the way of Billy and me.

Then an almost three year old told me she like my tummy.

As frustrating as it can be to have this belly in the way, as hard as it is to feel self conscious about my growing middle, as much as I strongly dislike the side effects of being pregnant, there is a little girl out there who still finds it all so magical. It's become so mundane and almost annoying at times that I forget just how amazing this big tummy of mine is. It is holding my sweet baby girl, that's what I just keep telling myself, that and it doesn't last forever. I only have 9 weeks or less of having this baby all to myself. So instead of focusing on the negative, I'm going to enjoy it while I can.

I'll just keep telling myself I like my tummy. :)

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

William


I just laid my two-year-old down for bed.
He's two.
My sweet baby boy is two.
I can't believe it!

Some of his two year old stats:
Height: 36"
Weight: 31 lbs.

Favorites:
Food: Broccoli Alfredo, Chicken, Oranges, Fruit Snacks, Mac and Cheese (although let's face facts, this boy is pretty good about eating whatever you put in front of him!)
Phrases: "Look at that!" "Are you there?" "Oh! Hi,______" "I love you!"
Things to do: Play at the park, Dance parties, Watching Shows (poor boy has watched a lot of those as mommy hasn't been feeling good!)
People to see: His Sam. his cousins! He loves playing with his cousins, I am so grateful for those built-in buddies! He loves his nursery teachers. We usually "bribe" him to going to and getting through the first half of church by telling him he'll get to play with Jake and Kalie.
His Daddy is his favorite person. Since we don't get to see him often William steals all the time he can with him.


William is such a sweetheart. He is a very affectionate little boy, who loves getting and giving hugs and kisses. Some little kids, and grown ups, don''t quite know what to do with it, but I LOVE getting his snuggles. He has always been my cuddle buddy.


He is getting to be a typical toddler boy. He loves wrestling, and throwing balls, he loves running and dancing, playing with cars and following his big boy cousins around. It's fun to see those traits coming out.


He is my sunshine. Such a happy little boy, and a hammy ham, if I've ever met one! He makes me laugh every single day. We have our rough moments, but they don't ever last too long, and it just ties our hearts a little stronger together.

The last two years have brought me more joy than I have ever known. I have grown as I watch him grow.
Thank you, William, for making me your mommy. You make daddy and me so very happy.
I love you so so so SO much!

Friday, February 14, 2014

What Love Is. (a mushy, gushy letter to my husband this valentine's day)


This Sunday, as you were holding me, I asked you if you would consider yourself "in love" with me. (oh yes, I ask my poor husband questions like this on a regular basis...) You said yes, but that you think it goes beyond that. That made me think of our time together so far, and how we have gone beyond "in love" and what exactly OUR love is.

--LOVE IS--
-when you stroke my hair to help me fall asleep
-wrestling with our little nugget
-being away for 17 hours every day to make a better life for your family
-coming home with some of my favorite candy
-taking over "mommy duties" when I don't feel well (which, let's face it, has been quite a bit the last few months)
-putting your arm around me
-letting me put me feet on your stomach when they're cold
-putting up with my loopy self when I get tired
-changing dirty diapers
-making William giggle like no one else can
-giving me the opportunity to stay at home with our kids
-laughing 'til we can't breathe over silly things that no one else would probably find funny (Cha-Chunk?)
-when just getting to sit on the couch together is the best part of my day
-being the first to apologize
-letting our son climb in bed with us, even though we all know exactly how it will end
-holding me while I cry
-making an effort to have date nights together
-rubbing my back when I am "getting sick"
-massaging my feet. (or randomly buying me a foot bath to do it)
-eating sno-cones in the rain
-helping to ease my worries
-doing the dishes
-holding my hand
-the way you worry about me
-how you put others' needs ahead of your own
-always being willing to help
-being the best example of a good work ethic for our children (and me!)
-honoring the responsibilities you've been given
-wrestling
-not making fun of my (lack of) frisbee skills
-praying with me
-praying FOR me
-not being critical of me... and my many flaws
Let's face facts, this list could go on... and on... and on...

Love is all of the little things that end up really being the biggest things.

I feel like Russell said it best. "That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most." (Oh yes, I just brought Up into this!)

I love you, Billy, and the many ways you show you love me. Hopefully you can feel the same from me.